Monday, October 22, 2012


My son is being bullied.

I'm not just talking about being called names like stupid or gay (which he has been called).

I'm talking about being punched in the stomach repeatedly, and most recently (today) basically being choked.  The way Kaleb described it, the other kid had one of his arms pinned behind his back and had an arm across Kaleb's neck/throat, trying to choke him.  The speech teacher stopped him - i.e. the kid saw her and took off running.  But that wasn't the end.  The kid WAITED for Kaleb to come back, then jumped out at him and grabbed him.  The speech teacher came back out again and stopped him, and Kaleb made it back to class.  His teacher could tell he was upset so she took him out and talked to him, and he told her what happened.

We've had conversations all year about telling an adult when he is bullied, but Kaleb usually doesn't say anything until he is physically harmed.  I asked him today if he yelled for help and he said "I thought about it, but I wasn't sure what to do."

First of all, no 5th grade kid (or ANY kid for that matter) should even have to figure out what to do in a scenario like this.  Because no kid should be put in this scenario to begin with.  It makes me mad.  I'm mad at the school.  I'm mad at the bully.  I'm mad at whoever it is who is bullying the bully, because you know that these kids are either from a broken home and being abused or neglected, or being bullied himself.  Maybe that doesn't account for ALL bullies, but it applies to a large number of them.

I emailed the school last week over a DIFFERENT bullying issue.  I was very encouraged by an email exchange with Kaleb's teacher, but that isn't going to stop the bullies.  How can I protect my son?  Emotionally, I think I have a pretty good handle on that.  But I can't physically protect him each day at school.  And lest anyone think that this is JUST a public school issue, it's not.  Kaleb was bullied last year at his private, Christian school.

I just hate feeling helpless as a mother.

Yes, I know.

I can pray.  And I do.

I just wish that I could somehow protect him from being physically harmed.

I wish that these boys that target him would just stop.

Or be transferred to a different school.  Or minimum security prison...

Does anyone have any experience with this?  Is there anything I can do, or something I should be saying to the school officials?  I know that they are already "dealing" with these boys, because the boys are constantly in trouble.  But is that enough?  Help!


  1. Bullying is one of the reasons I still choose to homeschool.

  2. If we didn't need me to work, that would be a different story.

  3. Yuck. This makes me sick for you and Caleb. Mia was bullied last year at school (though thankfully that has resolved peacefully now), so I talked to a lot of people about what to do. One of my former teachers is actually an elementary school principal now, and she said you make sure you keep the school (especially the principal) updated. They take bullying very seriously at most schools and communication is a big key to stopping it. If Caleb doesn't want to be the one to talk, go with him to the school, talk to the people you need to talk to, don't let things slip by. There are a lot of strategies they can employ to protect Caleb, and that should be your biggest concern.

    I know you probably know all of this, but it made me feel better to hear an actual principal and her concern and how eager she would be to deal with a problem like this. Made me feel more confident in my actions.

    Praying for Caleb tomorrow.

    1. Thanks Casey. I'm emailing the principal now. I never heard from him last week and I expect a response from him this time!

  4. Taekwondo ... It teaches self defense but not violence. It builds confidence and strength. It helps boys with structure and discipline. I loved it and being able to just talk to friends about it gets the word out that you can protect yourself to protect yourself from bullies.

    1. Yes Kris and I have been talking this evening about self-defense for him. It's worth the money. It's not a want at this point-it's a necessity. He needs to be able to get himself out of situations like this.

  5. I forgot to say that it is fun. Some places have discounts

  6. Casey's comments are good, I agree you have to stay in communication w/ the school and the guidance dept. I hate that bullying has become almost no big deal these days. I too, am saying a prayer for Caleb. Love the name, by the way. :-)